she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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