it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
