She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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