My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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