If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
