neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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