HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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