He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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