they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
