you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Ladies don't puke and tell
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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