Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
