I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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