If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
