Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
