I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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