he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
