He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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