you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
