I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
