Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
