This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
