On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
