so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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