a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
