Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
My dick has a subreddit
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
