SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
