I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
