Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
