it wasn't lemon gatorade
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
