# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
