It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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