would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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