Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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