my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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