i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
