OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Sext me about skeletons
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
