Please, let me fuck your mom
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
