this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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