she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
