Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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