Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
