so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
