im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
she peed on how many people?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
