Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
