i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
