Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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