Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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