I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
