dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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