There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
