they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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