I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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